Proxy Murder: How Parental Alienating Behaviours Lead to Suicide

What Happens to Mothers and Fathers whose Relationships with their Children Are Disrupted? They Die From Suicide.

A recent study in the U.K. found a direct link between parental alienating behaviours, and suicidality in parents exposed to those behaviours (Hine,B., Harman, J., Led-Elder, S., Bates, E., 2024).

Parental alienating behaviours that induce or coerce a targeted parent into suicide is an especially insidious form of social deviancy and Family Violence. The practice of “the ends justify the means” and doing “whatever it takes” best describes social deviancy.

Parental alienating behaviours could be considered murder-by-proxy. The alienating parent uses parental alienating behaviours to induce the targeted parent to kill themselves. The targeted parent enacts the alienating parent’s intention to destroy them by dying from suicide.

There is a combined political and media campaign about male-gendered family violence, focused on women dying as a result of men perpetuating violent forms of family violence. Even more punitive and gendered measures targeting men as characteristically violent follow this campaign. The data on deaths from suicide due to disruption to family relationships from separation and divorce most likely include suicide deaths from parental alienating behaviours.

The data suggests the scale of suicide attributed to disruption to family relationships from separation and divorce, including parental alienating behaviours is a significantly greater social and public health problem than male-gendered family violence.

Suicide and “Disruptions to family relationships by separation or divorce”

“Disruptions to Family relationships by Separation or Divorce” is a psychosocial factor coded Z63.5 in the International Classification of Diseases version 11 (ICD-11). It is a subset of a parent category Z63.0 for issues between spouses or partners. It can also relate to the broader family setting where parental alienating behaviours may occur. These behaviours disrupt all family relationships. Another ICD-11 code Z62.820- Parent-Child Relational Problem describes parent-child relationship disruptions. It can also include parental alienation.

It is likely that the reported category Z63.5 encompasses deaths by suicide due to parent-child relationships ruptured by parental alienating behaviours. But it does not differentiate them from issues between partners. A better category for this presentation is Z62.820.

What the AIHW Says about Suicide Deaths Due to “Disruptions to Family relationships by Separation or Divorce”

The Australian Institute of Health and Welfare (AIHW) publishes data on deaths from suicide in Australia. They report those suicide deaths in the Z63.5 psychosocial category “disruptions to family relationships by separation or divorce”. That category must, by definition, include a proportion due to the rupture of parent-child relationships from parental alienating behaviours.

Neither the Australian Institute of Health and Welfare (AIHW) nor the Australian Bureau of Statistics (ABS) reports adult suicide deaths due to Z62.820- Parent-Child Relational Problem. That does not mean they do not happen, only that these deaths still occur but are likely unrecorded or captured in another category.

In 2022, the AIHW reports:

• 2455 adult men and 794 women died from suicide.
• 15.6% (507) were men, and 10.1% (328) of the total suicide deaths were women whose deaths the AHIC attributed to “disruptions to family relationships by separation or divorce (15 men and 10 women every 11 days).
• 84 people were killed in Bidirectional Domestic Homicide, out of a total of 220 homicides.
• 38 people (45.24%) of the total of Bidirectional Domestic Homicide were killed by an intimate partner.
• 34 women (73.9%) of the 38 people killed by an intimate partner were killed by their male intimate partner (1 women killed every 11 days).
• 4 men (10.5%) of the 38 people killed by an intimate partner were killed by their female intimate partner.

What the ABS Says about Suicide Deaths Due to “Disruptions to Family relationships by Separation or Divorce”

Further data from the Australian Bureau of Statistics for 2017 (ABS, 2019) reports that male and female suicide deaths from “disruptions to family relationships by separation or divorce as a single psychosocial factor were 156 deaths (46.4% of the male suicide deaths) and 24 (28.6% of the female suicide deaths). These suicide deaths were due to disruptions to family relationships by separation or divorce as the most frequently occurring psychosocial factor.

Disruptions to family relationships by separation or divorce as a single psychosocial factor are more likely to include parental alienating behaviours as a risk factor for suicide death. Taking the data back to total numbers of suicide deaths in Australia (2348 men, 779 women for a total of 3127), assuming no significant changes over different periods, 5% of annual suicide deaths are men and less than 1% (0.77%) are women dying by suicide from disruptions to family relationships by separation or divorce as a single psychosocial factor.

More than 5 times as many men as women die by suicide from the single psychosocial factors most likely to reflect parental alienating behaviours as a risk factor for suicide. More research is required to drill down into disruptions to family relationships by separation or divorce for the subcategories specifically attributed to parental alienating behaviours. After all, the AIHW and the ABS report other equally harmful psychosocial factors, such as sexual abuse, in their own category.

Are Male and Female Suicide Deaths Linked to Parental Alienating Behaviour?

The shock result is that in 2022-2023 15 men and 10 women die from suicide from “disruptions to family relationships by separation or divorce” every 11 days.

Furthermore. 5 times as many men as women die by suicide from “disruptions to family relationships by separation or divorce” as a single psychosocial factor. This factor is most likely to include parental alienating behaviours.

By comparison, 1 woman dies from gendered family violence every 11 days. It appears that death from suicide is a proportionally more significant social problem than male-gendered family violence.

The data supports a claim that we may have a suicide pandemic among mothers and fathers who die from suicide as a direct result of ruptures in their family relationships. One of the causes of these ruptures includes parental alienating behaviours. It is notable that there is no specific subcategory for death from ruptured parent-child relationships.

Adverse Outcomes from Disruption to Family Relationships and Parental Alienating Behaviour

Parental alienation research is replete with studies associating suicidality with parental alienating behaviour (Poustie, C., Matthewson, M., & Balmer, S. 2018). Worldwide, studies confirm that men are much more likely to die from suicide than women (Leo Sher, 2015; Leo. Sher, 2015). Yet both men and women suffer similar levels of mental health distress, including suicidality but not death from suicide.

Both men and women suffer adverse mental health outcomes when exposed to any form of family violence behaviour. However, some behaviours are disproportionally harmful by gender. In 2022, the AIHW reported that 69 men (13.6%)of the total male deaths from suicide and 8 women (12%) of the total female deaths from suicide were attributed to problems in their relationship with their spouse or partner.

Men and women endure similar proportions of mental health distress and suicidality when facing relationship issues, but disruptions to family relationships by separation or divorce disproportionally affect men.

Reclassifying Suicide Deaths as Deaths by Family Violence

The real incidence of suicide deaths directly related to parental alienating behaviours is buried in the suicide category of “disruptions to family relationships by separation or divorce”. Further research is required to unpack that incidence from the broader category. Nonetheless, this data likely supports Hine, B. et al. (2024) findings in the U.K.

As previously reported in Alienated Parent Suicide may be Death by Family Violence (Amended), the Police are considering reclassifying women’s deaths from suicide in the context of family violence as a Family Violence death. Therefore, they should also reclassify alienated parents’ deaths from suicide in the same way.

Parental alienation is an insidious and violent issue that currently escapes social and legal attention (Korosi, S., Bernet, W., Graham, S. P., & Ross, D. 2023). Foundational research defines an extreme category of parental alienating behaviours where alienating parents commission their children into violent acts. These violent acts include murdering the targeted parent, suicide and coercing the targeted parent into suicide as murder-by-proxy (Korosi, S. et al., 2023).

The Wrong Priorities: Suicide as a Sequel to Parental Alienation

The deaths of 1 woman every 11 days from male-gendered family violence arouse a social outrage and a frenzy of punitive legal moves. Yet, at least some of the 15 men and 10 women who may be dying from suicide every 11 days because of another form of non-gendered family violence do not.

The absence of a discrete subcategory in AIHW and ABS data points to the selective social recognition of suicide as a sequel to parental alienation. International research supports findings that mothers and fathers almost equally engage in parental alienating behaviours and are equally its targets (Harman, J. J., Leder-Elder, S., & Biringen, Z. 2019).

Further research and analysis should focus on identifying the suicide victims of parent-child relationships that parental alienating behaviours rupture. The statistics belie the individual distress that leads to death by suicide. The numbers and the stories could inform more targeted public health polices and focused sucide prevention initiatives.

Support is Available

Please call the Parents Beyond Breakup HELPLINE 1300 853 437 if you need to speak to someone for this article raises issues for you.

The author is a volunteer member of the Board of Directors.

References

Harman, J. J., Leder-Elder, S., & Biringen, Z. (2019). Prevalence of adults who are the targets of parental alienating behaviors and their impact. Children and Youth Services Review, 106. https://doi.org/10.1016/j.childyouth.2019.104471 

Hine, B., Harman, J., Leder-Elder, S., & Bates, E. (2024). Alienating behaviours in separated mothers and fathers in the UK. UK: University of West London Retrieved from https://www.uwl.ac.uk/sites/uwl/files/2024-04/Alienating%20behaviours_v3.pdf

Korosi, S., Bernet, W., Graham, S. P., & Ross, D. (2023). Parental Alienation: A Violent and Potentially Lethal Social and Psychological Phenomenon. European Journal of Parental Alienation Practice, 1(1). https://journal.parentalalienation.eu/parental-alienation-a-violent-and-potentially-lethal-social-and-psychological-phenomenon-download 

Korosi, S. (2024). Social Alienation in Families. Advance: a SAGE preprints community. Sage Publishing, 10. https://doi.org/10.31124/advance.171802097.78339306/v1 

Poustie, C., Matthewson, M., & Balmer, S. (2018). The Forgotten Parent: The Targeted Parent Perspective of Parental Alienation. Journal of Family Issues, 39(12), 3298-3323. https://doi.org/10.1177/0192513X18777867 

Psychosocial Risk Factors and Deaths by Suicide (2022).  Australian Institute of Health and Welfare. Retrieved (AIHW) 25 November from https://www.aihw.gov.au/suicide-self-harm-monitoring/data/behaviours-risk-factors/psychosocial-risk-factors-suicide

Psychosocial risk factors as they relate to coroner-referred deaths in Australia. (2019).  Australian Bureau of Statistics (ABS). Retrieved 17 June from https://www.abs.gov.au/statistics/research/psychosocial-risk-factors-they-relate-coroner-referred-deaths-australia#annex-listing-psychosocial-codes-inclusions-and-exclusions-

Sher, L. (2015). Parental alienation and suicide in men. Psychiatria Danubina, 27(3), 288-289. 

Sher, L. (2015). Suicide in men. J Clin Psychiatry, 76(3), e371-372. https://doi.org/10.4088/JCP.14com09554

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