In March 2014, former Democratic Labour Party (DLP) Senator John Madigan addressed the Senate on the use of intervention and family violence orders based upon false allegations to deny a parent contact with a child, and the 2012 changes to the Family Law Act (FLA) that facilitate this.
He contends that the 2012 changes to the Family Law Act enable this state of affairs by prioritising children’s safety over a relationship with both parents, by repealing the so-called ‘good parent’ provisions that required the law to consider: the willingness of each parent to facilitate a relationship with the other parent and the extent to which each parent has supported and has been involved with their children that had previously been considered in determining the best interest of the child.
This, together with the failure to investigate parenting failure in the context of no-fault divorce, the effective suspension of rules of evidence that allow the use of children’s hearsay evidence and a definition of family violence that now means “just about anything” leads Senator Madigan to state “Parental Alienation becomes a successful tactic”.
So it seems that Family Law, in an attempt to eliminate family violence has in fact facilitated another form of family violence and child abuse-Parental Alienation.
Senator Madigan also quotes retiring Family Court Judge David Collier from an article in The Sydney Morning Herald on 6 July 2013 “…unprecedented hostility was infiltrating the Family Court with a willingness by parents to use their children to damage one another. Allegations of child sexual abuse are being increasingly invented by mothers to stop fathers from seeing their children”. He then goes on to say that Justice Collier called this “a horrible weapon…the continued use of false claims is undoubtedly fueling the crisis in our Family Law system
Senator Madigan went on to quote some very disturbing statistics. According to surveys of Queensland magistrates, 74% believe that some intervention and family violence orders are used to deny contact between a parent and child, rather than for the purpose intended-the protection of a vulnerable person from family violence or other forms of violence and abuse.
The situation in New South Wales is even worse with 90% of surveyed magistrates believing the same as the 74% of Queensland magistrates. It would seem that a majority of surveyed judges might agree that the system that they swore to uphold has been suborned as a legally abusive tool in the hands of alienating parents.
You may find Senator Madigan’s full address to the Senate on Youtube here: The Family Court must be fixed.
No wonder Senator John Madigan is taking the fight about the dysfunctional family law system to the Senate. Quite clearly more people are appealing to their representatives that our current Family Law system is giving the green light to Parental Alienation. What better way to create the conditions ripe for parental alienation than by exploiting a system whose focus is on children’s safety by using a fabricated allegation to falsely evoke that very fear?
Also in March 2014, Liberal Senator George Christiensen also addressed the Senate on the same subject of a dysfunctional Family Law system, quoting similar statistics, from the same source as Senator Madigan.
Senator Christiensen does not mince his words, “… none were more reckless, more damaging to Australian families that the Family Law, family violence amendment bill 2011. That law redefined family violence to mean just about anything and encouraged parents to make fraudulent claims to remove other parents from their families”.
He also quotes retiring Family Court Justice Collier, “false claims are the new court weapon”.
You may find Senator Chritiensen’s full address to the Senate on Youtube here: The Family Law and Child Support systems need to be reformed
Yes Senators Madigan and Christiensen, many alienated parents would agree with you with the exception that in their experience Family Law’s definition of family violence means just about anything, even the abuse of a pet-except the deliberate rupture of a child’s relationship with a loved and loving parent!
No wonder that excluded or target parents complain that the institutions to which they turn in desperation to protect them and their children ultimately end up betraying them both.
I think we need to hear more from Senators Madigan and Christiensen-and they need to hear from alienated parents.
If this is happening to estranged parents what hope do grandparents have?
This is a very good point. Grandparents and indeed extended family are directly and indirectly targeted by Alienating Parents. One of the clear signs of extreme alienation is when alienated children reject not just a beloved parent but that the rejected parents extended family as well.
When the focus is on the child and to a lesser extent upon the target parent, grandparents and extended family are often forgotten. Yet their relationship with their grandchildren is just as valuable and it affects them in similar ways to the effects upon the rejected parent.
However, grandparents are not entirely powerless. I often work with the rejected parent and their parent or parents. They can make a very powerful team if we can create a supportive relationship focused upon the child rather than a critical relationship focused upon each other. Sometimes a grandparent can end up maintaining a relationship with the “opposing” grandparents and sometimes even have their own relationship with the alienating children. If nothing else grandparents and rejected the parents working together stand a better chance than rejected parents alone.
Nevertheless, it still more the exception than the rule. Grandparents are rejected and also their voices go unheard. How would it be if grandparents got together and mounted their own protest noting that parental alienation destroys the family system they worked so hard to create with their own children.
Parental Alienation is a perfect defense for narcissists and sub-criminal psycopaths to continue their abuse.
Normally I would not approve a comment from an anonymous source. However this comment raises an interesting point that is sometimes raised by those who do not understand that it is as abusive to alienate a child as it is to falsely claim alienation. Family violence, child abuse and parental alienation all have to deal with a similar issue that abuse in each of these fields can be perpetrated by those who actually abuse and those who claim to have been abused when they are in fact the perpetrator themselves.
People who have been subjected to family violence quite rightly take great exception to being accused of parental alienation or indeed to have their children alienated from them and then be blamed for it.
Similarly alienated parents take great exception to every false allegations of family violence made against them as a disguise for alienating their children.
This is the same problem with the same solution-integrity in the way assessment is made and implemented.
Agreed wholeheartedly.
after 10 years, left violent ex husband. He was abusive to our 3 kids and myself, plus his own parents and friends. 7 years later we still in family court. Professionals described him as obsessed with me, arrogant etc. he refused to pay settlement and I received 65% custody I’m remarried for 4 years with another child. Yet he continually harasses me and has accused my hubby of attempting to kill children 3 times. Dcp and police are sick of him he is relentless. 3 months ago he took my eldest son for couple of days as my son (11years) asked if he could take him to afl. I haven’t had my son home since. He tells me he hates me and is never coming back and that my hubby is bad, he hates all of us. I couldn’t understand what had happened we were so close. Then I started to get calls from parents at school saying my ex is telling everyone we are abusing the kids and he has to save them .. Nobody believes him. Is there hope for me to get my baby home and safe. I feel desperate
You are describing a familiar alienation pattern. With the pattern of behaviour you describe, the alienating/favoured parent has to ‘destroy’ the mirror (you) who no longer reflects them. Such parents demonstrate extreme personality traits, become emotionally dependent upon their partners and develop a love-hate, push-pull relationship with them. Violence and abuse are often used as extreme forms of control and an expression of self-loathing projected onto the rejected parent. In realty, the rejected parent is in the way between them and the children who are convenient emotional mirrors for them.
Children like your son are caught in an awful position where the only way they can grieve the loss of a parent in their lives is with anger. They have little option but to show the alienating/favoured parent unconditional loyalty in exchange for a conditional loving relationship with them. In contrast they may have an unconditional relationship with the rejected parent-which may be a reason why they reject them, because they know that the rejected parent will always be there and because the alienating/favoured parent is emotionally dependant upon them.
There are ways of approaching your son that are informed by our understanding of the effects of alienation upon him, and informed by the fathers personality traits. We have been successful in restoring contact in situations such as yours by careful strategically empathic communications and by outmanoeuvring the alienating/favoured parent. Of course everything depends upon the detail and I invite you to contact me personally to discuss further.
I have a matter that has been in the family court for five years over 7 jurisdictions and three states.
There are current DV Orders with the children named – plus an undertaking / Interim Parenting Orders – Mother Sole Parental Responsibility / Father no access
Recently, the father has made malious and vexatious allegations about Alienation to the Department of Child Protection.
They went to Court with application to take custody of the children – application was denied – they appealed in the District Court with fabricated (evidenced) reports and the appeal was upheld.
The Interim custody orders were made in favour of the Chief Executive as father identified under s10(b) and I am identified NIL CONTACT direct or indirect for a period of three months to be reviewed. Department has given the children to the father and extradited them interstate.
I got a lot of useful tips about successful parenting from this article. Thank you very much!
I have another article about successful parenting. Maybe you will be interested in it^_^
Helpful Tips For Successful Parenting – WiserParenting